6 June 2005
Words of wisdom from a Klingon Programmer
Posted by Mick (SplaTT) Stanic under: Geek Culture .
Have to thank Molly for finding this and blogging about it…very funny…
“Top 10 things likely to be overheard from a Klingon Programmer”
- Specifications are for the weak and timid!
- You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!
- Indentation?! – I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!
- What is this talk of ‘release’? Klingons do not make software ‘releases’. Our software ‘escapes’ leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.
- Klingon function calls do not have ‘parameters’ – they have ‘arguments’ – and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.
- Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.
- A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment on his code!
- Klingon software does NOT have BUGS. It has FEATURES, and those features are too sophisticated for a Romulan pig like you to understand.
- You cannot truly appreciate Dilbert unless you’ve read it in the original Klingon.
- Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!
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